Offers......

Sometimes, not everything in my world is quite so black and white in the real world, after a few months of viewing "holes in the ground" and some nice places and sticking in offers below asking prices and getting knocked back I've succumbed to the obvious that "my world" really is a very different place to what is REALLY "Out there".

Not everyone is as desperate as I would like to think, and logic kind of dictates that if I want to rent (and probably live) in a nice area, the prices for doing so stand good and firm, so I can only really grab what I can afford if I'm lucky enough for the opportunity to present itself to me.

That time has now come. I've managed to get a nice place in the target area where I was looking fully furnished for a decent sum of money, all be it, as I was saying the price suited my pocket rather then me actually negotiating a lower monthly rent, I'm not saying for a minute I was starting to get desperate but looking at prices in this part of town for 3 months or more I realized this was about the lowest it was going to get, and there were certainly more places to rent as much as £150 MORE a month for what was basically the same thing, and some of those places didn't even come furnished.

I've done all the paperwork now and paid the initial fees, and the bill for the remainder came in just the other day, £1898 - not cheap, but I cut right back in December and January, think I've been out once in that time, the general idea on this one is to pay out cash for as long as I can before I have to resort to borrowing money on my credit card, not that it would be a problem, I've just done a load of planned work out of hours which brings in extra money and it's my turn on call this week so there will be a few quid coming in for that which will be paid at the end of March which I can then use to settle any outstanding debt I run up when I move on 3rd of next month.

I'm quite looking forward to it now, and already I'm getting that feeling that says I should have done this along time ago and that makes me cringe when I think about the amount of wasted opportunities that have come and gone in that time. I think there is always going to be times in my life where I tut and put my head in my hands when it comes to the things I've done, but I do have a universal word now, that describes me and these moments, that word is "twat".

I've been running round like a headless chicken since I paid the initial fees trying to get stuff in place for the move date, I'm on the look out for a TV (a big one that I probably won't ever switch on) and all the "Homie" stuff I need like linen, quilt, pillows, towels, bins, irons etc etc and I have this diary with all the costing on it, somehow and I have no idea how, I've managed to "spend" £1100 on these items! I think some of the NEXT bed linen will need to be substituted for something cheaper, it all looks nice but in to comparison to other places you certainly cough up just so you can say "Oh but it came from next" which would probably make most people stare blankly and shrug their shoulders.

I got on to BT and my ISP this week as well, both conspiring to make moving house the most difficult and miserable affair ever! All I need is for my line and broadband to be up and running on the day I move in, I need my internet connection for work incase something happens that requires me to log on out of hours - it would appear both of the companies responsible for this are not capable of making sure I can do this with minimum fuss, so I've given notice to my ISP and reluctantly I'm having to sign up to a BT line and their Broadband Service, because this is the ONLY way I can get my service running on the day I move in.

Today I'm going to do a mass clear out, I've got stuff here that I need to part company with, I've got so much rubbish I seriously rival Edmund Trebus (Google him if you've never heard of him) and I'm only taking stuff I can't live without to the flat

The back of 2006.....

......I won't miss it.

Infact, I think it's fair to say that once again career wise it's been an excellent year, all bar the pay dispute which is still ongoing, but everything apart from that, the cards just haven't fallen in my favour.

Private life, shattered and a feeling of utter resentment to parties that will remain nameless.

Attempts to find some where to live have been difficult and ultimately fruitless.

Interest rates, although up, aren't rising quickly enough for me.

House prices march ever higher, and in collaboration with my pay dispute 2007 isn't looking like the year I'll become a home owner.

Two injuries whilst attempting to keep myself fit, the latest one my foot which is looking likely to need some kind of attention in the early new year if it doesn't sort itself out soon!

Good things:

A fantastic weekend in Cardiff when Watford were promoted to the Premiership by thrashing Leeds United 3 - 0 and the mother of all celebrations in the city after the game, my ONLY fantastic memory of 2006.

The Festive Season.

Christmas for me was like standing on deserted platform staring down the tracks waiting for a train that doesn't look like it's going to come, it's silent, lonely and cold. Then all of a sudden the "Christmas Intercity Express" appears out of nowhere and flys past me so fast it knocks me back on my arse and as quickly as it appeared it's gone again, leaving me dazed and wondering why I didn't get to climb aboard, and enjoy the ride.

This year has pretty much ended with me not having a clue about where to take my life in 2007, I'm having trouble being confident in the choices I make, every time I think "I'm going to do this and to hell with everyone" a little voice says "Don’t! You'll fuck it up!" This sort of problem can lead to all sorts of insecurities, I could honestly do without.

One thing for sure I need to a break, away from here, away from everything! my team have cottoned on to the fact I haven't had a holiday abroad since 2002 and now all of a sudden this is a frequently discussed topic in the working day - I need to deal with my anxiety over flying this year (I think I said I'd deal with this LAST year as well) and I've had ten shots of Diazepam in my draw since August and all I've done is hand them out to my mother when her nerves have played her up, how completely useless of me.

I dream of a sandy beech and a cold beer quite often, I wish I could quit being such an idiot and get on the bloody plane.

Well to those that visit regularly, you know who you are! And for those reading for the first time, I'd like to wish you all a very happy new year, take care for now.

The Unsung Hero.

The brakes are slammed on!

A short sharp dose of reality never did anyone any harm at all!

I went to see a nice flat on Saturday, target area, 2 beds and fully furnished meaning minimal layout to move in, which would have been just the ticket........... BUT

I should have known things weren't going to go well when the key was put in the front door and I stood there aghast as the door was blatantly as secure as a prison made out of paper.

Inside, the layout was good but sadly that's where it pretty much ended for me, countering the large lounge, master bedroom and neat little kitchen, was the dirty walls, chipped paint, the insecure front door, a mass of wiring hanging out of the junction box in the hallway and the undeniable fact that it hadn't seen anything remotely close to a duster or any kind of cleaning agents - and all this for the princely sum of £800.

Well you know me I don't do asking prices on anything these days so I immediately offered them £720 on the grounds all this work needed doing which was refused out of hand - I had a quick think and thought, ok £750 is my absolute max and the agent seemed more accommodating with that figure.

I have a friends in high places so I made a quick call to have the crime checked out in the area (well specifically the block).

A day or so passed and I heard nothing from the Agent so I called the office and unfortunately got to speak to smarmy little shit who wanted to challenge my offering on the flat.

"Well the landlord wants more towards the asking price"

I told him £750 was the max it was worth and that I could rent cheaper and better in town, where everything is 2 mins walk rather then 15 minutes walk where the flat was. To my utter amazement, the example of property I gave him, he came back with, "oh but it's not the nicest of areas, I don't like it" I sat there and thought, is this bloke for real? It's the best area within 2 mins walk of town??? No chavs, no "social" tenants.

We concluded the call that he would reiterate my offer to the landlord and get back to me, it's Thursday today, the property is still on right move and I've heard nothing, this turned out to be blessing in disguise.

I had a call from my Friend on Tuesday and without beating about the bush he said, don't touch it with a barge poll, it would appear the police are regularly being called to the block.

Apart from this quite major issue and the poor condition of the flat, which I would have been willing to sort out myself for an agreed reduction on the rent, I am a little disappointed - It was less then 5 mins from Watford's biggest open spaces, Cassiobury Park - and I had my heart set on early morning runs in the park on the weekends - I agree not the best basis to make a decision on where to live, but that coupled with it being 10 mins from Vicarage Road, 10 mins from Town (shops and pubs!) I thought it was ideal for me.

But, every cloud has a silver lining and I've got another new plan - with the Boxing Day/January sales coming up I've decided to spend Christmas at home (oh god! Kim Wilde and Mel Smith Rocking around the Christmas tree - blasting out the hi fi at 8 am Christmas Morning!! ) and hit the sales early and get everything I need to deck out an unfurnished flat, there are more of these properties on the market then there are furnished and I really didn't want to go in to my savings which are working so hard for me at the moment, but after totaling up Novembers overtime return, I'm totally convinced I can afford some decent gear all financed by one months overtime - and incase your wondering, I got utterly battered in November work wise a standard working month is 150 hours, my overtime returned was 32 hours at double time and 21 hours time and a half.

With a month like November it's pretty easy to see why I'm at home this week (or the latter part of) I got in to work on Tuesday to things falling down around my ears again and for me to go from calm to ballistic in 2.5 seconds is a clear indicator of me being pretty tired, but with so many jobs that need doing between now and Monday there is not too much time for slobbing about, Tyres and flat viewing today, car needs its first MOT and new brake shoes tomorrow, and I need to get Christmas shopping started AND get some prices of all the stuff I need to buy Boxing day and the January sales, all I want to do is go to bed and I've only been up an hour!

Promotion Arrives.......

The forms are in, the money is banked - Happy? Not at all.

It's so predictable what I'm about to say now, but I have to say it because it's so true!

My valuation of my primary skills, is clearly not what my immediate management team think! For me the job title is just a badge which I'll just put in the draw, it's meaningless for the simple reason being a "Senior Support Analyst" just means I officially get paid to be shouted at where before I didn't.

As I refreshed my employee records on my pc and saw my salary rise a miserable £2615 odd quid, not for the first time I feel completely cheated in 2006. For my plans going forward I can still make it work, but I've been busting my nuts in this job for a very long time trying to show people (senior management) what I'm worth. I made an instant complaint about it, and I have good reason too as well, I've been passed up for Senior for years now, and I've only got it because I asked for it, rather then my efforts be recognised added to that we have a contractor starting on Monday who knows nothing about my job, but will be clocking in at a rate of £325 a day and I'll have to show him the ropes - insult, after insult, after insult.

I've explained that I'm always on hand and my required salary more then entitles inpromptu phone calls in the evening and weekends to discuss business, on the downside for the company the pay settlement offered today means at 5pm every night my phone will go off and on Friday it goes off for the next two days, apart from when I do my on call stint. I've really turned in some good results recently as well, I'm at a loss for words about how I'm being treated with such contempt.

Enough of that now, I'm starting to piss myself off here!

Tomorrow, I'm chosing three places in my target area to view, no more messing about now - I need to be in before Xmas as the thought of waking up here to blasting xmas music from the lounge as my head pounds from the alcohol consumed the night before fills me with dread!

Caught up with an old friend too recently, only by mail but got a few wedding photo's sent through, haven't seen this person properly for five years and we have a quick gossip on email every now and then, the pictures look really nice and I wish them all the best!

I've got nothing in common with you, but it's nice to meet you anyway!

I'm not averse to doing favors for friends, but last night I think I probably should have said I was on call out or already doing something.

I went to a fairly local Greek Restaurant, with a female friend of mine, because I had a favor off her the other month when I wanted to go and see the gore-fest that is SAW III at the cinema and had no one to go with (or no one that could stomach it more like!!) so she was entitled to ask for a favor in return.

So we had a drink in the pub across the road from the restaurant, waiting for a phone call from the hostess which duly came about 7.50pm, we finished up the drinks and trotted over the road, now my friend said to me this was a birthday party, but it was alot more then that - it was a get together of performing arts friends! Oh god, what a combination! A systems analyst in the company of 'Lovies' as I like to call them.

I was introduced to so many people and each time all I could do was put a great big smile on my face and say "HI YA!" with intense enthusiasm, when the only thing in my mind at that moment was "I've got nothing in common with you, but it's nice to meet you anyway!"

So, the menu.....£25 a head and I have to say I don't think I've ever felt so hard done by in my entire life, first up was grilled ham (didn't go down well with the Jewish couple sat opposite me) with some weird cheese on it (pushed to the side of the plate by me) a lettuce leaf and a quarter of a tomato (exiled along with the cheese). I done quite well out of this particular course, mainly because I scored the unwanted ham from the plates of couple sat opposite me, in a way I couldn't help but snigger to myself, I mean everyone ordered their own food before they arrived, so how they managed to order a grilled ham starter I'll never know!

An hour had passed, it took me all of 90 seconds to put away my starter and there were still guests that had failed to arrive, which was holding up the main course, I have to say I don't think I've felt so out of place anywhere in my life, I felt like Saddam Hussein at the Nobel Peace Prize awards, and a night out when you're feeling like this is a very slow one - since I'd opted to drive, I didn't have the luxury of just getting pissed and making the best of it.

The remaining stragglers arrived at around half nine in the evening, and the main courses promptly arrived about ten minutes after, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but I knew for £25 this plate was going to have more food on it then I could possibly eat, and I was likely to be chomping my way through it for quite some time.

9.50pm - I've just put down my knife and fork, I stare depressingly at my plate which is now empty and question whether or not I had just eaten a precursor to the main course, or was that really it!? It was grilled chicken pieces and rice, with a side of salad on a plate smaller then any other plate I've ever seen when eating out.
Had I really eaten 2/3rds of my £25 a head meal? I think for once I was being the optimist in life, in reality though I was just trying to kid myself.

The Greek music was pumping by this time and I'm pretty sure if I had been off my nut I'd have been having a fantastic time, the waiters were doing their rounds of the tables trying to get people up and dancing, now I like a groove from time to time and dare I say I'm quite a decent dancer, but there is simply no way (despite my friend telling the waiters that I'd love to come up and dance) I was getting out of my seat, I'm clearly not drunk for a start and looking at the willing volunteers on the dance floor, I was likely to be in the minority when it came to the level of intoxication required to make an asshole of one's self.

Hang on, what's going on!? There I am smiling away and clapping in time to the music, the nights hit a new low, I'm not drunk but I'm 'enjoying' myself. I had to admire the fitness of the two waiters up there strutting their stuff, the whole Greek dancing thing has a lot of kicking in the air karate-kid style but being the person I am, I'm sitting there thinking how funny it would be if the woman at the table closest to the commotion got a foot in the Chevy Chase! The moment was brought to an end in spectacular fashion with the plate smashing, another thing learned from this evening though had to be without doubt, human beings passion for destruction just watching people hurling plates at the floor with such venom and hatred in their faces confirms to me that we'll always take so much more pleasure in destroying things rather then creating things (Sex for procreation aside of course).

I'm fast forwarding now, because for the next hour and a half or so, I can't remember anything actually happening apart from my text checking and clock watching, we left around midnight and I dropped my friend home and went in for my cup of tea, which didn't come for a further hour as I had to sit through a dvd of the latest show, I know I should show an interest in what people like to do but this was like having my teeth pulled, she was clearly so drunk that her hearing was affected as the TV was up so loud that I don't think her neighbors will be in the least bit upset if she decides to move house in the near future, she was bounding round the room in a "look at me fashion" and at one point I thought she was likely to go through the coffee table, I encouraged her to sit down and watch rather then re-enact the dvd as it was playing on the television.

I can't hold it back anymore, this is the key to the end of the night ........the biggest yawn I've done all day, I thank my friend for a nice evening out and head for the door, dispensing some good friendly advice on how to avoid a nasty headache in the morning.

As the evening went, out of all the people I actually met, only one person asked me what I done for a living, or was remotely interested in me, that conversation was probably the shortest I've ever had, with the smile on her face and enthusiasm in her eyes, I have the distinct feeling she was thinking "I've got nothing in common with you, but it's nice to meet you anyway!"

Promotion and Plan Changes......

Well we're in to the second week in October, and tomorrow I'm going to check on the progress of a promotion request I made some months back.

Promotion request??? Yes, I had to request it! I've been a support analyst for 4 years and I felt like I kept getting overlooked to move up to senior level, this carries with it a decent pay rise, although I am disappointed that I've had to ask for it, rather then my efforts be recognized naturally, the last update I got was all the paperwork was in the pipeline, and as yet I've heard nothing since.

I've had a little re-think from my previous plans to buy a property in six-twelve months time, and with my calculator I've managed to suss out I'll be better off renting by a country mile, with the money saved from the bills I pay at home, combined with the money I hope to land from the promotion I can rent a one bed place, in a nice area quite cheaply, this will enable me to a degree to carry on living the sort of lifestyle I am living at home, it's important to me that I continue to save as much as I can for when the market is right to buy a place of my own, I'm also quite keen to get a discount on whatever property I end up renting, simply by offering the entire contract money up front in exchange for a monthly discount on the rent - I'm quite hopeful to see that cash is still king when it comes to business negotiations.

The more I think about my own space now the more eager I am to get on with it, obviously being single for a while it's getting more and more difficult to admit to prospective girlfriends that I'm still at home with my parents - which if I may quote Wayne Campbell again, "I admit is most bogus and sad!" so this is the only way to move forward now, bring on independence, a long time coming!

Trust.

So very easily won, so very easily destroyed.